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Bah Light bulb!

December 18, 2011

The Incandescent Light Bulb

If you’ve ever had any doubts about using the term “nanny state” for our federal government, this should banish them from your mind forever.  What could be more intrusive to our personal liberties than having the federal government tell us what kind of light bulbs we need to use in our homes and workplaces?  If the Founders were here now, they would be in total disbelief that the heavy hand of the federal government could smack us this hard.

But here we are.  The unconstitutional overlord regulators of the unconstitutional EPA have decided that Americans are too simple and stupid to be able to chose what light bulbs we purchase and use in our homes.  In order to assure that we can’t make the “wrong” choice, the federal nannies have banned the manufacture and import of one of the most perfect inventions on earth…..the incandescent light bulb.  That’s right, come 2012, you won’t be able to purchase a “regular” light bulb, but instead will be forced to purchase the more expensive, less effective, harsher twirly bulbs because the government says so.  Now, I have a few of these twirly bulbs installed in my home, and while they do seem to last longer, it’s hard to justify the added cost.  In addition, none of these bulbs has failed or broken yet, and I’m unclear as to what to do if that happens.  I’ve heard that if one breaks, I should hold my breath and run screaming from the room for fear of instant death.  I’ve also heard that the should not be disposed of in the normal way (garbage), but that there’s some special recycling trick I’m supposed to know and that I’m sure was fully explained on the packaging that has long ago been disposed of.

As of this morning, I heard that a one-year extension of the incandescent light bulb ban might be part of the “payroll tax” backroom deal cooked up by Congress.  This means that while the EPA regulatory ban is still in effect, the congressional funding to pay for the light bulb enforcement squads will not be there.  It’s comforting to know that I can bravely burn my incandescent bulbs without using blackout curtains, but I still won’t be able to go out and purchase replacements after January 1.  It’s funny to think that my dad used to, for entertainment, take little forays into Canada during Prohibition, and bring back some hooch for personal use, don’t you know, and now I may need to take a little vacation north once my incandescent stash runs out.  Meantime, I’ve asked Santa for a case of 3-ways and hope to see them shining brightly under the tree on Christmas morning.  And, if you still got a hard-to-buy-for person on your list, now you know the perfect stocking stuffer.

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